


the high school chat room AU nobody asked for

by CoralFlowerDaylight (CoralFlower)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Chatlogs, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 00:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11116539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralFlower/pseuds/CoralFlowerDaylight
Summary: Thomas: hamiltonAlex: yes?Thomas: eat shit





	the high school chat room AU nobody asked for

**Author's Note:**

> this is the kind of AU where nothing makes sense. literally, in this AU, history isnt mandatory in education. its looked down upon by most people as no better than astrology since people use it by matching their name to a historical figure and basing decisions off that.

James: hey guess what you guys

Thomas: what

James: i found five bucks on the ground

~~~ King Moderator George William Frederick The Third joined the chat. ~~~

George III: That's my money.

James: what

James: bullshit

George III: It's made up of two $2 bills and four quarters. You found it at the base of a lamp post as you left the library. One of the bills was folded into an origami butterfly when you found it, and the other has a purple heart drawn around Jefferson's face.

Thomas: what

Thomas: oh old guy jefferson

Alex: hey

Alex: do you ever think about how weird it is that like

Thomas: no

Aaron: nope

James: never

James: also what the fuck

Alex: really cus i do

George III: You can keep it, if you want.

Alex: i think about it all the time actually

Aaron: alexander you do know that historical aaron burr killed historical alexander hamilton right

Alex: well yes obviously i fuckigng know that

Alex: but god its just so weird!!

Thomas: i will leave this chat right now if you start going on about the fucking """"founding fathers"""" again, dont even test me

Alex: okay go right ahead itll be just like when historical thomas jefferson resigned to run for president halfway through historical washingtons second term

Aaron: stop

James: oh my fucking god

Thomas: hamilton

Alex: yes?

Thomas: eat shit

Alex: hahaha

maria: what are we talking about

Alex: the historical people we all share names with

maria: oh i am so here for this lmao yall

maria: so glad thats not me

Alex: what?

Thomas: um actually

maria: ...what

Alex: you mean... you dont know?

maria: what

maria: know what

Eliza: hey im here now

Alex: uh nevermind

maria: hamilton ffs

maria: if you make me google this

Alex: oh god please Dont

maria: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamilton–Reynolds_sex_scandal excuse me what the fuck is this

Eliza: oh my fucking god not this bullshit

Eliza: alex isnt this ""history"" thing why i broke up with you

Alex: idk theres this entire month missing from my memory of sophpomore year lmao

maria: this is horrifying oh my god

eacker: history sux

Alex: hey fuck you eacker

Alex: historical you killed historical me's son

maria: youre one to talk hamilton historical you was an ass

eacker: i

eacker: is that why you dont like me??????

Alex: um

eacker: im not hearing a no

Alex: l i s t e n

Aaron: hey maria did you know that the historical aaron burr took the historical maria reynolds's divorce case pro bono

eacker: god what the fuck i thought i DID something

maria: no i didnt

Alex: burr i thought you said you didnt think about this stuff

Aaron: fuck you

maria: god this is so weird to think about

Alex: i

Aaron: i didnt mean that

Alex: okay

Aaron: yeah i Said that because i dont think about it

Alex: well why not

maria: why are we talking about this

Aaron: because i fuckign dont wanna murder you??? d u h h

Thomas: i blame hamilton

Alex: what

Alex: dont blame me it was georges fault

Thomas: how

Aaron: ^^^

Alex: what you guys were there he said the thing about $2 jefferson and our jefferson got confused

Thomas: excuse me i am nobodys jefferson

maria: whatever lets just stop

Eliza: i agree im getting a headache

Eliza: history sux

Thomas: yeah its worse than like

Thomas: astrology

Alex: history is nothing like astrology!

maria: we are done talking about this

Alex: aw what the fuck

Eliza: history sux

eacker77777: hamilton sux

Thomas: yeah i agree hamilton sux

Alex: funny you should say that jefferson

Alex: because your historical counterpart once said that my historical counterpart was, and i quote:

Thomas: oh fuck no

Alex: "disinterested, honest, and honorable"

Aaron: okay FIRST OF all alexander he only said that after history hamilton DIED

Aaron: while hamilton was alive he was all "most corrupt government on earth" and "squadron devoted to the nod of the treasury"

Alex: okay whatever burr

Aaron: yknow you dont have to like capitalism just cus hamilton did

Alex: what.

Aaron: like youre allowed to want to seize the means of production just as much as anyone else

Alex: okay Look

Aaron: im just saying

Alex: l o o k

Alex: karl marx had the worst beard in the history of anything

Aaron: lol its not like hamilton was any better

Alex: excuse me

Aaron: that was one ugly motherfucker have you even ever seen a ten dollar bill my dude

Alex: First Of All,

Aaron: you dont even have any way to argue you know im right

Alex: fuck you

John: i for one think alexander is pretty no matter what his historical counterpart looked like

Aaron: lmao wheres that one quote where someone describes him as a gremlin i know it exists

Alex: FIRST

Alex: OF

Alex: ALL.

Alex: his jaw was Chiseled

Alex: his eyes were burning torches of destiny

Alex: and he was imposing enough on the battlefield to scare the redcoats shitless

John: thats gay bro

Alex: YOURE gay

John: shit you got me there my dude

Aaron: anyways now that alexander is done being gay for a dead guy with the same name as him

Alex: ex fuckin scuse me burr

Aaron: hamilton dont do this

Alex: ex. fuckin. scuse you, i do what i want

Thomas: hamilton no

Alex: HAMILTON YES

Aaron: sweet jesus

Alex: burr

Aaron: oh god what now

Alex: i challenge thee

Aaron: thats not even the right use of thee

Alex: to a duel

Aaron: aw cmon man what the fuck

Alex: at sundown

Aaron: the historical duel happened at sunrise

Alex: behind the dennys

Aaron: we arent even anywhere near new jersey man what the fuck is this

Eliza: history sux

Alex: do you accept the duel

Aaron: what are my choices

Alex: you accept the duel or withdraw your inslut

Thomas: inslut

Alex: shut the fuck up jefferson

Aaron: do i get to choose the rules and weapons

Alex: uh sure i guess

Aaron: okay i choose water guns and the rules are the first person to get an innocent bystander completely wet wins

Alex: burr what the fuck

Aaron: i literally said less than ten minutes ago i dont wanna kill you, asshole

Alex: no i mean what the fuck that actually sounds FUN

Aaron: hey fuck you

Aaron: just cus i normally choose not to be fun doesnt mean im incapable of it

Alex: burr came up with something fun you guys i think the world is ending

Aaron: ughhhghghghghhh

Thomas: so you guys do your duel and then we can be completely done talking about this history bullshit right

Alex: right

Aaron: right

**Author's Note:**

> dont forget to leave a comment if you enjoyed!


End file.
